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Journalist, Photographer, Narrator, Cosplayer
Emily Valrite

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An Open Letter To Closeted Trans People

March 25, 2016 at 5:00 PM

Tags: Opinion Advice Transgender Trans MtF FtM Closet Struggles Challenges Coming Out
Category: Social Issues


Hi guys. This article is not intended to be "News", but instead, something very personal and opinion-oriented. I wanted to leave my thoughts and advice that I'd wish to give to anyone who has realized they are Transgender, but is still in the closet and has not yet made a decision on whether or not transitioning is the right course of action. 

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Ok, so let's begin...

Because Transgender people represent such a tiny portion of the population, you must pretty much accept that when you are trans, you have a certain responsibility to be counsellor, educator, activist, and guardian for those trans people around you, and those who reach out to you. So long as you feel comfortable, and are qualified, I think it's simply the right thing to do, to help others who are going through similar struggles you faced or are currently facing.

Even if it's simply a shoulder to lean on, or cry on.


So, having been specifically asked about my experiences when first starting to transition, SO MANY times, I figured I would put my thoughts and advice into an article so that I can reference it in the future. Hope this is interesting for you.

Keep in mind it's only my opinions and thoughts, I make no claim that my way is the right way of thinking.

I also didn't want to make it a "How to Transition" or what happens after transitioning. This is strictly from the perspective of someone who has not decided to start transitioning yet. How to go about the process is an entirely different story.


Considering Transitioning? Here's my thoughts:

  • It's not easy, it's not cheap, most people won't respect you for doing it.

  • It's more than likely you'll lose some or all of your family, friends, and any kind of support network.

  • You must prepare yourself to face these possibilities before you decide to start transitioning.

  • You might lose your job, despite any laws protecting such discrimination.

  • If you're seeking employment, you probably will find it nearly impossible to secure anything.

  • Your chances of attempting suicide might be as high as 50%

  • You will likely suffer from depression, anxiety, and other psychological issues while transitioning.

  • Things you take for granted, like going outside to check the mailbox, can become crippling, terrifying, and seemingly impossible challenges.

  • Your Relationship, Marriage, or other Romantic Involvement may not survive the transition.

  • Your Sexual Orientation may shift or change.

  • None of this, if it happens, is your fault. This is a result of the society we live in, and it needs to change.

  • It IS all worth it. There is no price too high for the benefit of living true to yourself and being the REAL you. It is worth every struggle, every lost connection, everything.

  • I am here for you, as are thousands of others, take advantage of the support we can offer you.

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